What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named brandon
there was a guy how had a stroke eh. hes all right.
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute but how was I supposed to know she never told me.
yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice
I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say... THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu I choose you!!!
What is so similar about a concreate block and a garden They both make vegitables
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands? They can both do dirty things
I'll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminist can change anything
Things you never want to do in jail - never piss off an inmate - don’t start fights with the cops - don’t drop the soap - don’t run away from the cops
Yo mama so fat when she fell I didnt laugh but the concrete laughed up.
I wish my lawn was emo, because than it would cut itself.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
What did they do with Michal Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego so kids could play with him for once
How do you know someone is going to die? he can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again
