Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Zit

    • I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways; What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

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    • Gun

    • What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

    A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

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    • Friend

    • When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.

  • 1

    • Cat

    • I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

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    • Woman

    • So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

    The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

    After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

  • 1

    • Submarine

    • What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?

    They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.

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    • Laughing Gas

    • My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

    So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

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