What do you call a Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Famous last words of my uncle: (a bomb disposal expert) yes the red wire
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder. If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
When I'm bored I like to slap orphans I mean what are they gonna do tell their parents
What did the Nazi order from wendys? Two number NEINS
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
dont you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water cause your dad wont bring the fucking milk? cuase same
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing
A priest is drowning in a river... A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says "leave me alone, god will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn't you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn't take them! "
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.
what's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag ones plastic and dangerous to play with the other is to carry groceries.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute? A prostitute only has one crack, and has to can wash it and sell it again.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest? You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid’s until he’s 13 years old.
Whats a pedafiles favorite holiday Holloween free delivery
What makes sad people jump? a bridge
