Morbid jokes
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.