Morbid jokes
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!