Morbid jokes
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.