Morbid jokes
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"