What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
Morbid Jokes
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
