Morbid Jokes

When I woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats and eye, but when hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people loose their shit?

i will never forget my girlfriends last words..."get off of me STOP"*slurp*...Dead

When Covid spreads through food but you realized you live in Africa.

What's the difference between my dad and my step dad? My step dad beat my ass before he left

I’m glad I’m not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky

What do you call a non binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy

How did protestants performed in 16 century well done

I have a huge thought, if s@tan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.

In the hospital they need to keep the disabled patients rooms cooler than the other patients rooms. Why? They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

This native American won't stop talking shit about me, so I said "please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors".

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory. Two test-tickles

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”

Hey did you hear about the kidnapping?" "no." Yeah but then he woke up.

My grandma was telling me to be positive. As i was going in for an aids test

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" For 5 different men.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me it comes and goes very easily

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I cant help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.