Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?

Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

  • 0

    • Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

    How do Chinese people name their children?

    They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

  • 5

    • A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

  • 4

    • My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.

    What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?

    Realizing you only put in 4.

  • 2

    • What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:

    The best thing they did was a wall.

    Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"

  • 5

    • I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

  • 8

    • Justin: Hey.

    Josh: Hey man.

    Justin: Why only "man"?

    Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

    Justin: I don't mind.

    Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

    Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

  • 0

    • Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

  • 3