Morbid jokes
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
Come on guys, please let's play Roblox. My name is xX_robloxGamer420Po_Xx.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."