Morbid jokes
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
Tate
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
I lost my bag. :(