Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Why can’t orphans buy ice cream?
They don’t have money.
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
I will pay someone to kill me.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
why are orphans prostitutes
so they can call someone daddy
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
