When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Momma Jokes
Joe Mama!
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.
Your momma!
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
