Yo momma like a penny.. -two faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out it got rug burn
Your momma!
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
