Mom jokes

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.

My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.

We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.

Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!

Layne: IKR

Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.

Addison: ok fine.

Layne: Look at this joke.

Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*

My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.

Your mom gay.

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"