Mom Jokes

Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.

Your hairline and your mom go way back.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.