Mom

Mom jokes

Childhood

    • My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

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    • Mom memes

    Euphemism

    • Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

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    • Paradise

    • Kid: What is between mom's legs?

    Dad: Paradise.

    Kid: What's between your legs?

    Dad: The key to paradise.

    Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

  • 5

    • Ball

    • Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."

  • 39

    • Life

    • I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

  • 7

    • Autobiography

    • Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

    Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

    Me: It's an autobiography.

    Ice Cream

    • POV: it's picture day, but you can't sit still, even though your mom told you to but you got to exsited, about and you were just in it for the icecream at the shop, and then your mom says sit still but you don't listen, and honestly that would be me fr, NOT THAT DEEP BRO........

    A cartoon illustration of a light brown, fluffy dog-like character with floppy ears. It has one blue eye and one red eye, with small freckles on its snout. The character is sticking its tongue out, has sharp teeth visible, and is wearing a pink collar with a gold tag. It also has a ruffled, light-colored collar and a dark jacket or cape. There are small red and blue hat-like accessories on its ears.
  • 1
    • Mom memes

    Community talk

    • my mom kicked me out bc i said "im sorry i wasnt the perfect daughter" she hit me and tmw im going to the councilers office, i dont have a fucking bookbag, not a phone either, andjst my school laptop. im going to my grandmas house, ily all sm

    • i js need to like get this out and i cant talk to anyone so ima js say this here but im so done with school its so draining i had a whole ass mental break down and a panic attack in the bathroom tbc of school and the drama and rumors and also bc i missed my mom and bf bc he moved away and my mom is in jail then when i finally calmed down and come out of the stall i didnt know my two bsfs were in there to and i heard … Read more

    Community