Mom jokes

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.

I love my mom.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

In America, mom births you.

In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.

The thing my mom birthed.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

My mom told me to be positive...

I was heading to an HIV test.

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(