Mistaken jokes

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"