Miss Jokes

Your hairline is still missing even Dora can’t explore it

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

Everybody does this

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

Teacher: is anyone’s parents missing. Students: yea yours.

Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.

Be grateful:

You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?

The entire English innings.

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

Why are good at dodge ball

Because no one misses them

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!