one day my dog died because we couldn't find him then we got a cat on the same day then my cat went missing and when I was crying we heard are Asian neighbour was having a party then we went over and i saw my dog and cat on the grill and they eat them. in front of me saying yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well.
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter, he approaches her and says "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion but I was curious to know if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady smiles and says "That's a lot of money, of course I would." The doctor smiles and says "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady says "What are you joking? That's no money at all, Of course I wouldn't, what do you think I am?" The Doctor smiles again and says "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
Daddy I really miss you mummy changed my name to tickle timpson anyway daddy I forgive you for abusing me
MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅
"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁
don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell Kobe. He didn't make it either
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common? Miss by few inches and you’re in deep shit.
what do miss reeves and michael jackson have in common? :they both have a touchy feeling for kids
Mississippi
Girls are missing a pp
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
what comes in and comes out but you should never miss it
any ideas
SHIT !!!!
Why are good at dodge ball
Because no one misses them
Why do orphans like boomerang more then there parents? The boomerang comes back
One day I saw a kid cry so I go. Let's go find your parents. I miss my job at the orphanage
why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room
Ur mum is so fat, that when she walked past the television I missed a whole series of SpongeBob
If kobe missed a shot his helicopter will too
Teacher: is anyone’s parents missing. Students: yea yours.
I was at afghanistan and i had been captured by the taliban. I was going to get the death penalty. Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now i will die. Shame on u penaldo!!
what do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, its not a misses, I'm more for a MIStery
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire english innings
your mama so ugly she went by a tv s and miss eight episodes
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form; Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
