Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous jokes

Atom

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

King

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

Life

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Nightmare

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.

High-five

Why didn’t the Japanese guy get a high five? Cause Logan Paul left him hanging...

Plane

Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

Pedophile

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

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  • Ass

    I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

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