What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills.
Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him?
Doctor: They Are For You.!!
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why can't skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously it's called dark humor for a reason
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What's red and bad for your teeth? -- A brick.
