if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
When do astronauts eat? At launch time!
Q: What’s the difference between me and you? A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? -- A pool table.
did u hear about the new german microwave? it has ten seats in it
Him: What's The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin
The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
i fell down the stairs once.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
iran
Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle? I’m bone to be wild!
Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
I wish my lawn was emo, because than it would cut itself.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
