Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous jokes

Flute

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

Grammar

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

Stoner

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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  • Hooker

    What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

    Ocean

    I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.

    Turns out it was a Fanta sea.

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  • Norway

    Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

    So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

    Eye

    I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.

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  • Helen Keller

    How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.

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  • Skeleton

    What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

    Nothing, it goes right through them.

    Day

    Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

    Cucumber

    What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

    My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

    Hail

    A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

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