Miscellaneous jokes
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
Arsenal
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.