Miscellaneous jokes
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
F*ck my ass.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
Year 10 English.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
Yes.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes! Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.