Mirror jokes

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Why did Steward die in the toilet?

He saw his Undercut in the mirror.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

What did the female dog say to the mirror?

Hi, bitch!

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

Wanna hear a joke?

Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')

If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.

Bully: Who you looking at?

Me: A Build-A-Bear.

Bully: Where?

Me: Look in the mirror.

Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"