Mirror jokes

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.

Bully 2: Look in a mirror.

Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"