Million Jokes

How do NASA plan pardes.

They planit.

why did the banana go to the doctor.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

what is black and white and red all over? newspaper.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

I speak for the trees * Trees whisper in my ear* They said six million wasn't enough

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

hey guys wish me luck on my game AI-Nassr vs RaedAl-Raed. and i have 604 million followers on instagram but we are not gonna be able to beat that but can we get to 69 followers please and thankyou

I just reached 10 million pounds in euro truck simulator, but its not even close to what Rakhmat akilov achieved

Someone walks up to his dad and says Dad what’s the difference between potentiality and reality soo ok the dad says to the son go ask your mother sister and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for a $1,000,000 so the son comes back 5 minutes later and said dad they all said they would sleep with the postman so son petentilay we have a million dollars but in reality we have two slits and a gay one

you call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

Sketchy dude: you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die Me: if i push it more than once do i get more money Sketchy dude: yes but more people die Me: *rapidly pushes button* this is how you solve world hunger. Sketchy dude: ... wtf, your insane. Me: ...

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

Hitler killed 18 million and only died once. Fucking camper

Lol these jokes have been heard millions of times

How do you get 1 million followers:

{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }

yore the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43,43,43. A kid walks up to the man and says “why are you saying 43,43,43”. The man stops and looks at him then he starts jumping again and says 43,43,43. The kid asked him again and so on. Then the man stops opens the pothole throws the kid in, closed the starts jumping in says 44,44,44!!!

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"