Middle jokes
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"