Middle East Jokes

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?

They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, Girl are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb

In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?

Minesweeper.

iran

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

What Did Iran Say To Oman

Oh Man I Ran Out Of Ideas

What does an apple and a gay have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

What’s the most emo country in the world? Qatar.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!