Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
