Men

Men Jokes

I'm just gonna say it. And don't get offended but I'm so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc.

But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions.

Men have to go to war on the front lines.

Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made.

And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

It's because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this.

I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc.

Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire'women' at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

(this event can be done worldwide)

Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

(I'm not against feminism it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 📱 What do you call gay men 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👨 👨 👨👨👨 👨 👨👨 👨 👨 receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 inside a adult book store 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 📖 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜 🥜 🌭 🥜

🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 💆‍♂️ 💆‍♂️ 💆‍♂️ 💆‍♂️ 💆‍♂️ 💆‍♂️ 💆‍♂️ norwegian massage 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ 👍 👍 🙌 🙌

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

😫 😢 😳 🤔 Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👨 👨 👨 👨👨👨👨 👨 👨👨 at the glory hole 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳 🕳🕳 🕳🕳 🕳🕳 inside the adult book store someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar 🥜 🌭 🥜 😜 😜 😘 😘 😍 😍 🥰 🥰 😻 😻 😃 😃😊😊 ☺ ☺ 😄 😄 💘 💘

👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖 👖👖 👖 👖👖 👖 👖 🔑 🏠 🤔 🙄why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest 👖 👖👖 👖👖👖 👖 removed zippers from the pants of 👬 gay men in the LGBT community? because he lost his key 🔑 to his house and he was desperate to get back 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🏠 inside of his house and he thought that one of keys 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 🔑 to their zippers would be able to unlock the door 🚪 of his house 🏠 🙌 🙌 ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ 👍 👍 😁 😁 😁 😁 😊 😊 😊 😊 😃 😃 😆 😆 😄 😆 😄 😆 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴

Whats a word that starts with m and ends in airage and all men like it?

Miscarriage The joke never gets old just like the baby

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

*Principal:* What is 3+3?

*Boy:* 6.

*Principal:* 6+6.

*Boy:* 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

*Madam:* What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

*Boy:* Legs.

*Madam:* What is in your trousers that I don't have?

*Boy:* Pockets.

*Madam:* What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

*Boy:* Coconut.

*Madam:* What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

*Boy:* Bubble gum.

*Madam:* You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

*Boy:* Tent.

*The principal was looking restless*

*Madam:* A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

*Boy:* Wedding ring.

*Madam:* I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

*Boy:* Nose.

*Madam:* I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

*Boy:* Arrow.

*Principal:* O MY GOD.

*Madam:* What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

*Boy:* Fork.

*Madam:* What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

*Boy:* Surname.

*Principal:* Ohooo !

*Madam:* What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

*Boy:* Heart.

*Principal:* Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, "Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!"