Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'
Why can’t an orphan take medicine They need parental supervision
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
me explaining the school nurse that ice cant cure everything nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl
What do people with cancer always want to watch
•finding Chemo
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Patient: Good news! Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
why did the banana go to the doctor it wasn't peeling well
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive." to the corona patients
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: I've got u flowers Patient: Awww, What's the bad news? Doctor: *They're for your grave*
If selena Gomez wasn't really single after justin bieber dump her. I would wait for her to come by my house take her fine ass in my room close my door give her some sex medicine until she masturbate.
If your butt hurts real bad put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient. The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient". Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants. Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage. After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control. Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?" The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
If Stephen Hawking Gets a Heart Attack, where do you go, The hospital or curry’s PC World
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies? Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards? DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What is long brown and cured depression.
A nuse.
