Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Why do pills work? Because they r white
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
D NO DOCTOR START WITH A AND A+
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
