The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam. That being said I wish he hadn't!
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
lol I switched out my friends leukemia medication for mercury (Like and comment if you get it)
lol I keep stealing my dad's medication money and the best part is he never remembers.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants and it was drivin me nuts
Person: 'Doctor, doctor I've only got 50 seconds to live'
Doctor: 'Just give me a minute'
As a doctor myself, there nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
When I trying to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
Doctor , Doctor, I feel like a pair of Curtains ! what 's wrong with me! calm down calm down Just pull yourself together
When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”
