ME jokes

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."

Why do orphans play Roblox? Because there is a game called "Adopt Me!"

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”

I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.

I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"

Will someone play Roblox Adopt Me with me?

I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

Boy/girl: I love you.

Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.

The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

Me: Do you know a funny joke?

Friend: Yes, you.

"Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Depression"

"Depression wh-"

ME!! *runs away*

How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!

Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.