ME jokes

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...

Me: Knock Knock

Her:

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

A: Who can tell me a joke?

B: Life.

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?

A self-me.

Tazzaro got me like: 😂

Orphans got me like: 😂

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.