ME jokes
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy anLet's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste. Let's see how many times it lets me copy and paste.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?
Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.
Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.
Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<
Guy 1: Like I do care :$
Guy 3: But I do care :<
Guy 1: F*ck you.
Guy 3: Do it.
Guy 2: But you do care about me.
Guy 3: No.
Guy 2: F*ck you.
Guy 3: Do it.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”