ME jokes

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.

Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.

Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

A ball hit me in the vagina.

Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.

Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.

I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.

Then it hit me.

I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.

I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

Add me on Fortnite: Bujjj Boy.