ME jokes

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait.

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

Good luck, Jake.

Friend: Your life is a joke.

Me: No, jokes have meaning.

Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

bully: "Your life's a joke."

me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."

What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Where is this pic of me in my bra?

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.

Like the faker Gwen?

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(