ME jokes

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?

Me: 😈

Why did you and Sarah break up?

'Cause she cheetahed on me.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger sister.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?

Y'all follow me, please.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Imagine being emo.

Couldn't be me.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.