ME jokes
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.