Matter

Matter Jokes

My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet

I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut becasue they don't.. yk for a matter of fact fuck all you guys..

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, your my favorite anyway!"

how many tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? it doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway

For all those Simpsons fans out there this one I'm sure you know Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you Homer: I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me-- no matter how dumb my suggestions are

Free will is like having a vagina you don't need to know how to use it and you don't need to know what it does but what matters is that you have it.

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that. But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

In my science class we were watching a video and for no reason at all it started talking about Black Lives Matter and my friend leaned over and whispered “white lives matter more”

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!