Matter Jokes

I got hit with a can of soda. It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink

Crying babies are like parties, No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do you call a dead hooker? It doesn't matter she won't answer you.

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions ..you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind ..as he emerged from the betting office with all his money... he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person..each and everytime. He ,however couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him .. "But I'm undeserving I can't come with you" he said .. "Yes you can" replied the Angel , "you gave all your stake ( steak) away"

Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your BUTT!

If you are on here don’t hate there will be rude ones but it doesn’t matter

What should you name a dog without any legs? It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell he's not coming.

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and was everything OK with his wife flo. He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could but he just couldn't get overflow

Most controversial types of matter: 1. Dark matter 2. Anti matter 3. Black lives matter

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet

I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally

What world record did the people in 911 get the world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, your my favorite anyway!"