I have a daughter she’s a fan her name is penny..... fan she was born on the mountain pen y fan I adopted her because her mum fell of the cliff after birthing penny. It doesn’t matter really penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
On text* Boy : Hey! I love you... Girl : eww u are so ugly *boy sent a pic of his dic* Girl : beauty doesn't matter in love
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said why did you call me a female
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream, the man asks do you want sauce on it? The downs kid says It doesn’t matter I’m going to drop it anyway 😂😂😂
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael jackson
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and was everything OK with his wife flo. He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could but he just couldn't get overflow
Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane
Whats the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
You momma's so fat she started fat lives matter .. meetings are everyday 11 o clock mcdonalds 12 o clock kfc 1 o'clock pizza Hut
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."
Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek ? No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.
what is similar between sex, and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
These jokes are so dark that their life matters
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
