If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
Most controversial types of matter: 1. Dark matter 2. Anti matter 3. Black lives matter
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut becasue they don't.. yk for a matter of fact fuck all you guys..
My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet
I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally
What world record did the people in 911 get the world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, your my favorite anyway!"
I read a sign what it meant to say is you matter don't give up what I read was you don't matter give up
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
