Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
