Mathematics jokes
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
Hi boyyyy!
Why is 8 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 ate 9.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."