Mathematics jokes
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.
What's 2+2?
4.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date? Because he was 2 squared.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate 9.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?