What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Many Jokes
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
I wonder how many people read this wrong.
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
