Many jokes
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
poor police
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.