Many jokes
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9