New Man Jokes - Page 54 - Worst Jokes Ever

Hi Gwen, how is life!

A. Bad, lame, and suckish.

B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!

C. Perfect!

I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!

Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."

What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?

Spit out the feathers.

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?

Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.

What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.

Why did the mailman die?

Because everyone dies.

Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!