Make jokes

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.

When people make accounts about you and a category.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

God creating bees.

God: "Put a needle on their butt."

Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"

God: "Make its puke delicious."

Angel: "WTF"

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.

Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.

What am I?

Answer: a Riddle.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉