Make jokes
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.
Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!