imagine getting a call and it says "welcome to Davids orphanage you make them we take them how may we help you.
what makes a nuke and divorce the same?
it only takes one of each to end your life.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with north korea
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me Shoyu."
How do you make any salad int a Cesar salad? you stab it 23 times.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes. Because they’re aimed at a younger audience
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic, You make 'em we bake 'em
I was making sandcastles with my Nan then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Bully...you such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger
Life is a or like a penis. Long, free, flowimg, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard.😉
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
I was going to make a chemistry joke.. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all they can't stand up for themselves
I'd make 9/11 jokes but they'd just crash and burn.
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!!
Guys we shouldn't make jokes about 911 my dad was a victum he was the best pilot in Arab