how to make holy water 1-grab a pot 2-put water in it 3-set the stove to 420 degrees 4-boil the hell out of it
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
My friend thinks he is funny.He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion,so I threw a coconut at him.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
