Make a jokes

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

A note for my old English Teacher:

Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...

And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!

I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.

He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.

He was my least favorite grandparent.

What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?

Afterbirth.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?

Not all are friends.

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

How do you make a baby cry?

You run over it with a lawn mower.

I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.

People are still scratching their heads over it.

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

Why can’t an orphan make a joke?

Dad jokes.

What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.

I made a website about orphans.

But I can’t make a home page.

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!