Magic jokes
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
I like unicorns.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rowling.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
I was Gandalf the Grey.
But now, after just three washes...
Why was Balls afraid of Magic?
Because Magic eight Balls.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.