Magic jokes

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Genie: What are your 3 wishes?

Me: Make every word 4 letters long.

Geni: Wish Gran.

Me: Make every word start with "br".

Genie: Brsh Bran.

Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.

Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.

How does the author of Harry Potter get around?

She walks, JK, Rowling!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

I like unicorns.

You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking. JK, Rowling.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

An orphan finds a genie.

Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."

Genie: "Of course."

Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."

Genie: "Done."

Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"

Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"