Whatβs an orphanβs favorite cereal?
Because itβs the only magical string in his life.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
What goes cackle cackle *bonk*?
A witch laughing it's head off.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches donβt serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a holocaust victim? Harry made it out of the chamber.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so itβs relatable.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
