Made

Made jokes

Russian

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

Career

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Day

One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.

Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.

"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END

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  • Tampon

    What do lovely men and tampons have in common?

    Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.

    Memes

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

    Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

    Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

    Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

    Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

    Hello

    When did “yo” mean Hello?

    They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

    Food

    My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

    Cheese

    I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"

    Unicorn

    If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

    Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P

    Gang

    outside lmao.

    -inside gang sucks. This joke was made by outside gang.

    Rapper

    Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?

    In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!

    Suicide

    My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

    Atom

    if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom