Made jokes

"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.

The only joke my dad ever made was me.

"Orange you glad I made it?"

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.