I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Made Jokes
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
"Orange you glad I made it?"
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
COVID is like fashion...
We started hearing about it in Italy...
Became popular in LA and NYC...
Florida ignored it...
And it was all made in China in the end.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!